It's Christmas Eve Eve as I type this. That lovely little day, where the marathon of food preparation, cooking, drinking, throwing-of-nutritional-sense-out-the-window, gluttony and general decadency begins. However this comes with one small catch NOTHING EVER ACTUALLY HAPPENS!!
Allow me to elaborate, upon how the traditional Christmas festivities are constructed in my family:
December 1 - The tree goes up, this is like the early warning that countdown is well and truly underway and in a matter of weeks all hell is going to break loose.
December 23 - Christmas Eve Eve, the food preparation for tonight's Christmas Orphans Dinner begins, the food changes from year to year but its generally a roast animal with trimmings, its also during this time that deserts or anything that requires a sitting-in-the-fridge-driving-me insane that I cannot consume its deserty goodness. This day is also the traditional purchasing of the Christmas Day and Boxing Day Booze
December 24 - Its on well and truly now, the food smells of whatever is being slaughtered that year for our enjoyment consume the house, tonight is my favorite night if I do say so myself - the Christmas Eve family and partners only roast, its awesome to sit down with your mum, dad, sister(and boyfriend) and hopefully one-day I'll bring a girlfriend. Generally little drinking is done tonight with soft drinks the weapon of choice, with carols on the TV is truly something magic - add candles for that little finishing touch.
December 25 - The Big Dance, its the main event. Christmas brunch with croissants, eggs cooked every way you can imagine and some you can't. Bacon, hash-browns, salmon and what has got to be well over 20 litres of holandaise sauce. Then the Christmas lunch or supper with so much seafood cooked again in what has to be every type of way known to mankind, and the drinking now is well and truly its men fighting each other tooth and nail for that final beer in the eski - and god help you if you pick up a glass of red that wasn't yours. Then suddenly it ends....for a time
December 26 - Booze time and cricket and leftovers, today is what I call "National Let Every Aussie Get Pissed As They Can In Front Of The Cricket and Pretend They Can Sing The National Anthem Day." No food is cooked by god we could not handle more cooking by now, it simply your stomach versus the leftovers. The booze truly flows today - and by god anyone who wakes up on December 27 not hungover is being unpatriotic and a bum, and speaking of that - anyone who works December 27 and gets fired for being late, or hungover or even still drunk your boss is a bum!
So that's what we have to look forward, well at least what I look forward to over the coming days - but that doesn't help with my immediate predicament of the fact that NOTHING EVER ACTUALLY HAPPENS TODAY!!